The Day I Chose Myself: A Journey from Confusion to Clarity

How I Reclaimed My Voice, My Truth, and My Definition of Love - on a 4-Hour Retreat with Elizabeth Alanis

Note from Elizabeth: This piece was written based on a heartfelt letter I received from a client after her private retreat. With her permission, I have shared it here—her words, her experience, her clarity—as a beacon for others who may find themselves walking a similar path. Her name has been changed to protect her privacy.

I am Maya, and I am happy to share this true story with you.

Three months after separating from my husband, I still couldn’t breathe.

He had betrayed me—again. The lies, the infidelities, the drinking, the way he would twist things and make me feel like it was all my fault. And still, he was calling me, texting me, promising change, asking for therapy, saying he wanted to work things out. And I didn’t know what to do.

My heart was exhausted. My mind was spinning. Part of me wanted to believe him, to believe that people can change. Another part of me didn’t trust him at all. I had tried for so long, endured so much, that I didn’t even know what normal felt like anymore.

Then a friend said something that shifted everything.

She had recently attended a two-day retreat with a psychotherapist and shaman named Elizabeth Alanis. She said, “You don’t have to figure this out alone. There’s a space where you can lay it all down and listen to what your heart really knows.”

That’s how I found Elizabeth. And I gave myself a gift that felt extravagant at first—maybe even selfish. A 4-hour private retreat. Just for me. What I found during those hours was more than I could’ve imagined.

The Truth I Didn’t Want to Admit

It was hard to even say the words aloud. The questions Elizabeth asked were gentle, but they reached deep.

Had he ever physically hurt me?

Yes.

But I had normalized it for so long, I didn’t even realize how much I had minimized it. I had told myself, It’s not that bad. But when I spoke the truth out loud—how he had grabbed me, left bruises, blocked the door so I couldn’t leave—it became real. I heard myself. And for the first time, I believed me.

Elizabeth didn’t judge me. She didn’t pity me. She looked at me with clear eyes and a soft heart and said,“This is serious. This is not love. This is not safe.”

And I wept.

Patterns I Hadn’t Seen

We looked at my past—past relationships, past choices—and the same story kept showing up. Different names. Same pain.

I started to blame myself. What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep choosing this?

But instead of letting me spiral into shame, Elizabeth met my inner critic with tenderness. She helped me zoom out to see the larger map of my life.

We talked about my childhood—how I grew up with an alcoholic, abusive father and a mother who never left him. How I saw the same cycles in my aunts, my cousins, even my friends. How I heard the same lines again and again:

“That’s just how men are.”

“At least he provides.”

“You don’t leave your husband.”

Some part of me had absorbed all of it. Without even knowing it, I had inherited a script.

Love is sacrifice.

Love is forgiving everything.

Love is endurance.

Love is staying—no matter what.

But then Elizabeth asked me a question that changed everything.

“Is this what you want your daughter to experience?”

I didn’t hesitate.

“No!”

And suddenly it became clear:

If it’s not good for my daughter, it’s not good for me.

A New Vision of Love

From there, everything shifted. She asked me:

“What would you like to teach your daughter about love?” “What does love truly mean to you?”

I paused. I breathed. I began to remember.

Love is safety. Love is honesty. Love is compassion, reciprocity, freedom.

I began to shape a new definition. One that was mine. One that I could live by—and teach.

And with every answer, I felt my power return.

The Ceremony

We ended the retreat with a shamanic healing ceremony—something I’d never experienced before.

In that sacred space, I released the old patterns that didn’t belong to me. The ancestral stories. The weight I had carried from generations of women who were told to endure. Who were never taught to choose themselves.

I called upon my ancestors—not just to witness, but to help. I asked for their support in breaking the generational cycle. I asked for healing not only for myself, but for those who came before me, and those who will come after.

This cycle ends here. With me. Now.

I asked for protection. I asked for strength. I asked to remember who I truly am.

When I Left

I walked out feeling different.

Lighter. Clearer. Freer.

I knew what I wanted. I knew what love meant to me. And I knew I didn’t have to stay in something that hurt me to prove I was worthy.

That day, I chose myself. And I’ll keep choosing myself, again and again.

Closing Invitation

If you’re standing where I stood—in heartbreak, confusion, or fear—please know there is a way through. Elizabeth Alanis created a space where I could hear my truth again. And it changed everything.

You deserve that too.

If this speaks to you, consider gifting yourself a 4-hour private retreat with Elizabeth. This retreat is designed to help you untangle confusion, reconnect with your inner truth, and take empowered steps toward the life—and love—you truly desire.

To learn more or schedule your retreat, reach out to: loveintowholeness@gmail.com

When Love Depletes You Instead of Lifting You.

Why It's Time to Retreat and Reclaim Your Energy

We enter relationships longing to be nourished—to feel held, seen, and uplifted. At their best, our connections give us energy, spark creativity, and bring joy to everyday life.

But too often, the opposite happens.

Instead of replenishing us, relationships become one more source of stress. We find ourselves caught in loops of tension, unmet needs, misunderstandings, or caretaking dynamics where we give far more than we receive. Slowly, we begin to feel drained—physically, emotionally, and spiritually depleted.

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, anxious, or disconnected in your relationships, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. But it may be time to pause… and listen.

Why You Need to Step Back to Move Forward

There’s a reason we keep repeating painful patterns in love, family, or friendship—even when we know something isn’t working. The roots of these patterns are often hidden deep within: in inherited beliefs, unprocessed emotions, ancestral imprints, and unhealed trauma. These energies may not even be entirely our own—they may come from the collective consciousness, from family lineage, or even from past-life wounds carried forward.

When life gets too busy, we can’t hear the quiet voice inside that’s trying to guide us back to balance.

That’s why sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do is step away—not to give up on love, but to return to ourselves.

A Love Into Wholeness™ Retreat is a sacred pause. A space where you can tend to what’s been neglected within you, listen to what hurts, and reconnect with what’s true. It’s a chance to restore your energy and remember how good it feels to be whole.

What Happens When You Retreat with Us

Our retreats are not escapes—they are returns. You return to the deepest parts of yourself, to your truth, and to the kind of love that begins within.

Here’s what a day in retreat looks like:

1. Grounding and Assessment

We begin by tuning in. Through gentle practices, you assess the state of your four inner bodies:

• Mental Body: What beliefs are running the show? Are they yours—or inherited?

• Emotional Body: What feelings have been buried or bypassed?

• Physical Body: What is your body carrying from years of stress or caretaking?

• Spiritual Body: Are you feeling held and guided—or alone and disconnected?

This awareness becomes your personal map for healing.

2. Emotional Healing, Mental Clarity & Shamanic Release

We gently release what no longer serves you. Practices may include:

• Mental Clarity: Shedding limiting beliefs and inherited distortions that keep you stuck in old relational patterns.

• Emotional Healing: Releasing long-held feelings that have been stored in the body.

• Shamanic Healing: Deep spiritual work that helps you release ancestral pain, collective imprints, and even unhealed karmic experiences from past lives.

This is where light begins to return—clarity, relief, possibility.

3. Physical Restoration

Stress and emotional strain show up in the body. That’s why we bring in:

• Healing rest in nature, sound therapy, and movement

• Energy healing and nurturing touch to support the nervous system

• Nourishing meals and herbal drinks to soothe and replenish

Your body remembers what it feels like to feel safe and cared for.

4. Spiritual Reconnection & Integration

We complete the day by re-aligning with the sacred:

• Ceremony and ritual to bring a sense of reverence and renewal

• Creative expression through art, writing, or nature-based practices

• Reflection and guided insight to help you carry your healing forward

You leave not only restored—but realigned with your spirit and your path.

A Great Place to Begin: The 4-Hour Private Retreat

If your heart is longing for change—but you’re not sure where to start—the 4-hour private retreat is a powerful first step.

This intimate, one-on-one experience is designed to help you:

• Step out of survival mode and into clarity

• Understand the patterns that keep love feeling hard

• Reconnect with the parts of you that need tending, healing, and care

• Receive loving, focused support in a safe and sacred space

• Experience the power of shamanic healing to release inherited and energetic burdens that may not be yours to carry

You’ll walk away with renewed energy, deeper self-understanding, and a sense of direction about what’s next—whether in your relationships, your healing journey, or your life path.

You Are the Source of Your Wholeness

When we tend to our inner world, something profound happens: our outer world begins to change. The way we relate, what we accept, how we speak, what we choose—it all shifts.

A Love Into Wholeness™ Retreat gives you the space to tend to the pain that drains you, and the tools to start loving differently—not from depletion, but from wholeness.

Ready to Begin?

This is your invitation to stop pouring from an empty cup… and to come home to yourself.

Book your private 4-hour retreat or💬 Schedule a free 20-minute consultation to explore if it’s right for you.

loveintowholeness@hotmail.com

Let’s reconnect to the source of your wholeness—so love can feel like it was always meant to feel: honest, alive, and deeply nourishing.

A Journey of Healing: A Daughter’s Transformation Through Love Into Wholeness™ Dual Retreat

Healing is rarely a solitary journey. Sometimes, the most profound transformations happen when we take a step together—when we allow healing to ripple through generations, breaking cycles and creating space for deeper connection. This is the story of Sofia and her mother, Elena, who came to a Love Into Wholeness™ Dual Retreat seeking healing, not knowing it would change their lives forever.

The Intention: A Retreat for Her Mother

Sofia arrived with one goal in mind: to dedicate the weekend to her mother’s healing. It wasn’t about her; it was about providing a safe space for Elena to release what she had held inside for so long. Sofia had always felt a weight on her shoulders, an unspoken burden carried through years of inherited pain. She was constantly over-giving—at work, in relationships, in life—yet always feeling unseen and unappreciated. This retreat, she hoped, would be the moment when that weight could finally be lifted.

A Difficult History: The Burden of Perfectionism

Elena had always been a perfectionist. Nothing Sofia did ever seemed to be good enough. It wasn’t because Elena didn’t love her, but because she had spent her entire life trying to be the perfect everything—a perfect wife, a perfect mother, a perfect woman. She had learned this from her own upbringing in an overly critical family, where love was conditional, and mistakes were not tolerated.

Now, after 27 years of marriage, Elena and her husband were contemplating divorce. She was in crisis, realizing how much her need to control everything had shaped not only her marriage but also her relationship with her daughter. As the retreat progressed, Elena confronted a painful truth: her relentless perfectionism and over-giving were deeply rooted in her own childhood trauma. She had been severely abused and neglected by her stepmother and ignored by her father. In response, she had spent her life compensating—by doing, by giving, by proving her worth over and over again. Yet, no matter how much she gave, it never felt like enough.

A Deep Awakening: Realizing the Power of Release

As the retreat unfolded, something remarkable happened. Sofia didn’t need to know the details of her mother’s private sessions. Just knowing that Elena was in a safe space—where she could express her emotions freely, cry, and finally release what had been unspoken for years—was enough to bring an unexpected relief.

For the first time, Sofia saw clearly how many of her own struggles were reflections of her mother’s. They were not just hers; they had been passed down, carried forward, unintentionally inherited. But then came the moment that changed everything: Elena acknowledged it. She admitted that some of Sofia’s struggles were echoes of her own. And in that moment of recognition, something shifted.

Breaking the Cycle: A Shamanic Healing Session of Liberation

One of the most profound moments of the retreat happened during a joint shamanic healing session. As I guided Elena through releasing the deeply ingrained belief that she was never enough, something extraordinary occurred—she was able to pass that healing directly to Sofia.

In a powerful act of love, Elena did for her daughter the same healing work that I had just guided her through. She spoke to her daughter words of release, words of recognition, words of love. Sofia felt the shift immediately—her mother, for the first time, was not just seeing her but freeing her. It was a moment of deep liberation, one that neither of them could have imagined when they first arrived at the retreat.

The Outcome: A Relationship Renewed

Leaving the retreat, Sofia and Elena’s relationship felt different. It felt lighter, closer—yet not suffocating. It hadn’t been about fixing or forcing change; it had been about understanding. The healing wasn’t only in the mother’s release—it was also in the daughter’s finally feeling seen, heard, and understood.

This journey was never about one person. It was always about a lineage of pain, love, and the decision to end cycles that no longer serve. It was about finding healing together.

Why a Dual Retreat?

Healing takes time, and sometimes an hour-long session isn’t enough. The retreat provided Sofia and Elena the space to go deeper, to move through layers without rushing the process. It allowed their emotions to unfold naturally, leading to a depth of understanding that might have taken them years to reach otherwise.

Would Sofia recommend a Love Into Wholeness™ Dual Retreat to others? She says, "Absolutely. The retreat gave my mother and me the space to heal in a way we never could have on our own. Sometimes, the healing we seek for our loved ones becomes the very healing we need for ourselves."

If you’re feeling weighed down by wounds that you may have inherited from a previous generation in your family. If you have unresolved emotions, or disconnection with a loved one, a Love Into Wholeness™ Dual Retreat may be the transformative experience you need. Healing happens not in isolation—healing happens in connection, healing happens in love, and brings wholeness.

Schedule a free call today. Explore how a retreat can support you on your healing journey: email:  loveintowholeness@gmail.com