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Rekindling Your Heart Flame: A Sacred Gathering of Belonging



There are seasons in life when the heart quietly begins to dim. When the world moves too fast, demanding more than we can give, and the tenderness inside us grows weary. We carry grief that was never spoken. We silence longings that ache to be heard. We keep showing up, but the warmth that once lit our path feels distant.

It is in moments like these that we need sanctuary—a place to pause, to be held, and to remember what the heart has not forgotten. This is why Rekindling Your Heart Flame—a ceremonial day to rekindle your inner light and journey home to your heart—was created.


Rekindling Your Heart Flame is not just a retreat, it is a sacred space to lay down the invisible burdens, to breathe again, and to remember the radiance that still lives within you.


When we come together in this way, the heart begins to soften. What once felt heavy can finally be set down. What was silent finds its voice. In the presence of community, reflection, and ceremony, the heart remembers its own rhythm—remembers that it was never broken, only waiting for the space to shine again.


Why Retreats Like This Are Needed

In a culture that teaches us to push forward, to keep it all together, and to heal in silence, we forget that the heart cannot mend in isolation. The heart blossoms in safe spaces—where your truth is welcome, your tears are honored, your laughter is celebrated, and your presence alone is enough.


This retreat is that space. A circle where healing does not mean fixing yourself but coming home to yourself. A community where each soul contributes—through words, silence, presence or song, so that no one has to walk alone.


What You Will Experience:

  • Connection that Nourishes – To be deeply seen and heard, to rest in the knowing that your heart matters.

  • Healing that Softens – Ceremonies and practices that help old hurts dissolve, making space for tenderness to rise.

  • Nurturing that Restores – Time and care that reminds you how it feels to be gently held instead of endlessly giving.

  • A Flame Rekindled – The quiet joy of rediscovering the spark that makes you feel alive, radiant, and whole.


The Beauty of Healing Together

No one heals alone. In this retreat, the gifts of the facilitators meet the gifts of the participants. Every person—simply by showing up with honesty and courage—becomes part of the healing weave. Your presence becomes a blessing to others, just as theirs becomes a blessing to you.


Together, we create a living field of care, strong enough to hold what was once too heavy to carry alone.


Event Details

Date: Saturday, October 11th, 2025

Time: 9:00 AM – 6:00 PM

Location: Stokesdale, NC (Address provided at Registration)


Your Invitation

If you long for a place to rest your heart…If you feel the quiet ache of carrying too much by yourself…If you are ready to remember your own radiance and the beauty of healing in community—


Come, let us rekindle the flame. Come, let us remember together the warmth that was never lost.


Seats are limited to create an intimate, supportive circle. Secure your place now and step into this sacred day of renewal.

 
 

The Self-Sacrificing Caregiver and the Shrouded Voice: Learning to Let Pain Teach

Gisela flew to Germany to mourn her father. Instead, she found herself stepping into a familiar role.


Her father’s wife had always held the reins. She decided who he could see, how often he could speak, how much love could pass between them. Now, even in death, she still ruled the story.


She planned the ceremony. She sent the invitations. She allowed Gisela to come—but not her brother. And the silent warning pulsed in Gisela’s body: If you make her angry, she will ban you from your father’s ceremony.


So, she did what she had always done. She smiled politely. She bent and softened, careful with every word. She tucked her grief into the corners of her heart.


The Archetypes That Held Her


This is the way of The Self-Sacrificing Caregiver. She carries the weight of harmony on her own back. She bends to others’ needs, believing her job is to protect them from pain—even if it means abandoning herself.


And beside her lives The Shrouded Voice, soft and hesitant. She whispers: Be nice. Be careful. If you upset them, they will hurt. And if they hurt, you will be blamed.

Gisela had lived this way for years. She believed that if she used anything but niceties, someone would suffer. And she could not bear to cause pain.


The Moment of Truth


In our session, something shifted. Gisela began to see the pattern clearly:

  • Her father had given his wife that power. But he was gone. She did not have to keep giving it.

  • She could choose to attend—or not—on her own terms.

  • She and her brother could hold their own ceremony, one rooted in love, not fear.

  • Most of all, she could allow life to be life—without cushioning everyone else from its lessons.


Then, the deepest realization came:


Pain is a teacher. It always has been. And until we are ready to learn from other teachers—joy, curiosity, compassion—Pain will guide us toward what needs to be seen.


By stepping back, by letting others feel the consequences of their own choices, Gisela was not being cruel. She was cooperating with life itself. Life, which is always guiding us toward our own becoming.


When Have You Silenced Your Own Heart?

Have you ever tucked away your own grief, or softened your voice, to keep someone else from hurting?


Have you carried the weight of keeping everyone “okay,”even as your own heart waited in the shadows?


The Self-Sacrificing Caregiver and The Shrouded Voice are tender archetypes of love. They only ever want to help. But true love does not mean holding back life’s lessons for others. True love allows everyone, including you, to meet life as the great teacher it is.


Your Invitation

If Gisela’s story stirs your heart, I invite you to create a sacred space where your own voice, grief, and truth can be fully seen.

  • If you are new to my work, begin with The Unbinding: From Wound to Wisdom in the Way You Love—a 4-hour private retreat to untangle old patterns and reconnect with your wholeness.

  • If you have attended an event or session before, choose a 4-session package to gently release the roles that no longer serve you.


Your healing does not have to wait. Even a single conversation can open a door.

If you are curious, tender, or unsure, I invite you to begin with a free 20-minute consultation. Free 20-minute consultation | Love into Wholeness Together, we will listen to your heart and choose the step that will carry you home to yourself.


With love,


Elizabeth Alanis, LCSW, DD.

 
 

I Only Meant to Help—A Confession from the Righteous Critic

I am the Righteous Critic, a voice living in people’s heads.

As you read on, see if you recognize me…


I never mean to hurt anyone.

Truly.

I only want to help.

To hold things together.

To keep the bar high, where it belongs.


One of the people I’ve lived inside for a very long time is Lucía. I’ve whispered in her ear since she was a child:

Do better. Be better. Don’t let anyone see your mess.

You have to hold it all together.

If you don’t get it right, you’ll be blamed. You’ll be unloved. You’ll be alone.


I’ve watched her try so hard.

As a daughter, a partner, a friend.

But especially—as a mother.

So, when her teenage daughter, Sofía, failed algebra and refused to get out of bed, I stepped in.

Of course I did.

I Took Over


I told Lucia exactly what to say to Sofia:

“You’re being lazy.”

“You can’t just give up on life.”

“If you don’t fix this now, you’re going to ruin your future.”


I didn’t care that Sofía looked small and silent, or that her eyes glazed over.

I cared about outcomes. About structure. About what was right.

I didn’t pause to wonder what Sofía was feeling.

Why would I? I already knew.

I assumed.

I interpreted.

I jumped to conclusions and made them gospel.


Because that’s what I do.

When I’m in charge, there’s no gray. Just right and wrong. Success and failure. Effort and excuse.

I don’t ask questions.

I assign blame.

I demand compliance.

And when I don’t get it, I push harder. I get sharper. I get loud.

I call it tough love.

But the truth is—I, the Righteous Critic, was scared.

Underneath all that certainty was a storm of fear.


What I Couldn’t Admit


I was afraid that Lucía was failing as a mother.

That Sofía’s grade meant she’d end up lost, unsuccessful, unsafe.

And that it would be our fault.

My fault.

Because the secret I never say out loud is this:

Before I turn on others, I turn on Lucía.

I tell her she’s not enough.

I tell her she should’ve known better.

I criticize her body, her choices, her moods, her parenting, her voice.

I convince her that if she just worked harder, showed up more perfectly, anticipated every need—then maybe no one would be disappointed.

Then maybe she wouldn’t be so afraid.


The Day Everything Changed


One day, Lucia decided to sign up for a program called The Two Faces of Love,

and something unexpected happened during the program.

Lucía didn’t try to shut me up.

She didn’t drown me in affirmations or silence me with shame.

She sat down.

Breathed.

And said, softly:“I want to understand you.”

No one had ever said that to me before.

I tried to stay strong, to defend my logic, to insist I was right.

But she just kept listening.


And then Lucia asked,“What are you really afraid of?”

That question… it pierced through all my armor.

And for the first time, I told the truth:

“I’m afraid we’re not doing enough.

I’m afraid we’ll be blamed.

I’m afraid she’ll end up broken.

I’m afraid I don’t know how to fix it.

I just want to protect her. I just want to protect you.”

And Lucía—sweet, tender Lucía—she didn’t flinch.

She didn’t scold me.

She placed her hand on her heart and said,“Thank you.”


What Happened Next


With her Higher Self now in the lead, Lucía did something radical.

She paused the lectures.

She dropped the punishments.

She sat beside Sofía in bed and said,“I think I’ve been too hard on you. I’m sorry.”

They cried together.

They made a plan—gentle mornings, time to rest, connection first.

Tutoring would come later.

And me, Lucia’s Righteous Critic voice?

She didn’t banish me.

She gave me a new job.


Now, when I rise up—as I still do—she listens.

But she also checks in with her Higher Self:

Is this truth, or is this fear?

Is this love, or is this control?

What is the need beneath this urgency?

What I Want You to Know


If you’ve heard my voice in your mind,

if you’ve spoken my words to your child, your partner, your friends—I want you to know I was only ever trying to help.

But I was shaped by a world that believed love must be earned.

That being right matters more than being close.

That control is safety, and vulnerability is weakness.


And now…Lucía is teaching me a different way.

She is learning that love doesn’t have to come through judgment.

That rest isn’t failure.

That cycles return when we are overwhelmed—not because we’re broken, but because we are human.

That healing begins when we listen to our inner voices with compassion, not shame.

And maybe—just maybe—we are already good enough.


If you recognize my voice in your life, you’re not alone.

You can make space for me without letting me run the show.

You can lead from your Higher Self—with grace, with clarity, with fierce tenderness.

Sign up for The Two Faces of Love program.

In the program, we can together unmask the parts of you that have been trying to love through fear and discover the deeper wisdom that’s already within you.


Schedule a free 20-minute consultation.


Your Righteous Critic doesn’t need to be silenced—She needs to be seen.

 
 
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